123Favorites.com - Jokes

During one of my many trips to London, I became friends with a
very wealthy, yet very modest, Jewish chap named Hyman Goldfarb.
On one visit, Hy told me that because of his large donations to
charities through the years, the queen wanted to knight him, but
he was going to turn it down.
“That’s a great honor,” I said. […]

* Let’s make this night really different from all others nights.
* Want to wander through my desert?
* I’ve got a Ramses in my pockets, and I’m glad to see you
* Wanna look for MY afikomen?

A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park.
He sat down on a bench and began eating. Since Jews do not eat
leavened bread during the eight day holiday, he was eating Matzoh,
a flat crunchy unleavened bread that has dozens of perforations.
A little while later a blind man came by and sat […]

(To be sung to the tune of “My favorite things”, from The Sound of Music)
Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes
Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes
Fish that’s gefiltered,
horseradish that stings
These are a few of our Passover things.
Matzoh and karpas and chopped up haroset
Shankbones and kidish and Yiddish neuroses
Tante who kvetches and uncle who […]

A few days before Passover a rabbi was walking home when he noticed his shamos walking ahead of him. The rabbi hurried to catch up as he had some important matters to discuss. Much to his dismay, the rabbi saw that the shamos had entered a Chinese restaurant. The rabbi couldn’t believe his eyes. He […]

As Moses and the Children of Israel were crossing through the parted Red Sea, Moses heard cries about how thirsty they were after walking so far. Unfortunately, the water was salty and not drinkable. Miraculously, a fish appeared from the wall of water and told Moses that she and her family heard the pleas of […]

Sam! Will you never see?
They are not KOSHER, So let me be!
I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them Sam-I-am.
But I’ll eat green eggs with a biscuit.
Or I will try them with some brisket.
I’ll eat green eggs in a box.
If you serve them with some lox.
And those green eggs are worth […]

First the answers and then the Questions
A: A classroom, a Passover ceremony, and a latke
Q: What is a cheder, a seder, and a tater?
A: Sofer
Q: On what do Jews recline on Passover?

Just in time for this year, a group of leading medical people has published data indicating that seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.
At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand […]

An orthodox Rabbi dies and goes to heaven. As he’s approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and begins to get excited. The lead angel approaches the Rabbi and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment. Shocked, the Rabbi does so. The angels march out of […]