Apr 08
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Passover Jokes - The Lunch

A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park.
He sat down on a bench and began eating. Since Jews do not eat
leavened bread during the eight day holiday, he was eating Matzoh,
a flat crunchy unleavened bread that has dozens of perforations.
A little while later a blind man came by and sat […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Our Passover Things

(To be sung to the tune of “My favorite things”, from The Sound of Music)
Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes
Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes
Fish that’s gefiltered,
horseradish that stings
These are a few of our Passover things.
Matzoh and karpas and chopped up haroset
Shankbones and kidish and Yiddish neuroses
Tante who kvetches and uncle who […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jokes - The Rabbi and the Shamos

A few days before Passover a rabbi was walking home when he noticed his shamos walking ahead of him. The rabbi hurried to catch up as he had some important matters to discuss. Much to his dismay, the rabbi saw that the shamos had entered a Chinese restaurant. The rabbi couldn’t believe his eyes. He […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jokes - The Ancient Story

As Moses and the Children of Israel were crossing through the parted Red Sea, Moses heard cries about how thirsty they were after walking so far. Unfortunately, the water was salty and not drinkable. Miraculously, a fish appeared from the wall of water and told Moses that she and her family heard the pleas of […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Dr. Suess Style

Sam! Will you never see?
They are not KOSHER, So let me be!
I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them Sam-I-am.
But I’ll eat green eggs with a biscuit.
Or I will try them with some brisket.
I’ll eat green eggs in a box.
If you serve them with some lox.
And those green eggs are worth […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jeopardy

First the answers and then the Questions
A: A classroom, a Passover ceremony, and a latke
Q: What is a cheder, a seder, and a tater?
A: Sofer
Q: On what do Jews recline on Passover?

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Warning

Just in time for this year, a group of leading medical people has published data indicating that seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.
At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jokes - The Orthodox Rabbi

An orthodox Rabbi dies and goes to heaven. As he’s approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and begins to get excited. The lead angel approaches the Rabbi and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment. Shocked, the Rabbi does so. The angels march out of […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jokes - The Moses

Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn’t even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He was about ready to give up.
Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above:
“You, Moses, heed me ! I have […]

Author: admin
Apr 06
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At Work Jokes - God Meets Bureaucracy

In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced
with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was
stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at
the hearing, God was asked why he […]

Author: admin