123Favorites.com - Jokes

Wife: “What are you doing?”
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : “Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.”
Husband : “I was looking for the expiration date.”

A man and his secretary are having an affair, so one afternoon they get a motel room and have strenuous sex. He’s not used to the pace, so he falls asleep afterwards and doesn’t wake up until about 8:30 that night, at which time he realizes it’s late and that he has to get home.
He […]

A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in.
“Get a load of her” said the mouse, “what a babe!” “Well, why not try your luck?” replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her.
Within five minutes they’re out […]

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Listen,” he says to the bartender. “If i show you the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen, is my beer on the house?”
“We’ll See,” says the bartender. So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on […]

Did you hear about Rudolf , the brown-nosed reindeer?
He could run as fast as Rudolf,  he just couldn’t stop as fast.

Wife comes home to find the old man humping the dog in the front room.
“My God Henry”, she screams, “I know you’ve had other woman but this time you’ve gone too far!”
“You may be right” he says, “I think I’m stuck.”

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door.
The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Shephard. The man, […]

A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice herringbone tweed trousers.
The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a doggie biscuit which he starts to offer to Fido.
A businessman, […]

Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, “I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.” And with […]

A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. “Jesus is watching you!” “who’s there?” The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and he heard it two more times when he spotted a parrot. “What’s your name,” the robber asked.
“Cocodora” said the parrot. “Now, what kind of idiot […]