123Favorites.com - Jokes

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the […]

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants.
The British submited a dry historical account “The Elephant and the British Empire.”
The French submited a text “The Sensuality of the Elephant — a Personal Account.”
The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled “An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of […]

Go to an place where there are white elephants.  Bring with you a muffin (with raisins).  Climb a tree.  When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it.  The white elephant will be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins).  White elephants like muffins (with raisins).  Repeat this procedure […]

Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:
The French book    - The Sex Life of the Elephant
or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant
The English book   - Elephants I have shot on Safari
The Welsh book     - The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and
culture
or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant llanfairpwll nhadau coeden.
The American book  - […]

What has two grey legs and two brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Lots of room!

What do you do when an elephant comes through the window?
Swim for it…

How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him “lunch”.

Why do elephants live in herds?
To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.

How do you get an elephant out of the water?
Wet.
How do you get two elephants out of the water?
One by one.

How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge?
The door won’t close.
How do you know there are *three* elephants in your fridge?
There’ll be […]