“My God Henry”, she screams, “I know you’ve had other woman but this time you’ve gone too far!”

“You may be right” he says, “I think I’m stuck.”

The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Shephard. The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home and woke up his wife but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket. “Don’t be afraid, darling,” said the man. “Wait until I tell you about this.”

“Get out of here!” cried his wife. “And take that sex maniac with you!”

The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a doggie biscuit which he starts to offer to Fido.
A businessman, who is also waiting to cross the street, observes this happening and interrupts, “Excuse me buddy, but are you aware of the fact that your dog just pissed all down the leg of your pants?”

“Yes, I’m trying to break him of this dreadful habit”, replies the blind man.

“Well, it’s none of my business,” says the onlooker, “but you’re not going to teach him much by rewarding him with a biscuit!”

To which the blind fellow chuckles, “Oh I’m not rewarding him. I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!”

“What are they doing, Grandma?” asked the little girl.

The grandmother was embarrased, so she said, “The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.”

They’re just like people, aren’t they Grandma?” said the little one.
“How do you mean?” asked the Grandma.

“Offer someone a helping hand,” said the little girl, “and they fuck
you everytime!”

A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today.

The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, “How many pounds?” The dog barked twice, so the
butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef. He then said, “Anything else?” The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, “How many?” The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops.

The dog walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse and take out the appropriate amount of money before tying the two packages of meat around the dog’s neck.

The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the dog. The dog walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house where it began to scratch the door to be let in.

As the owner opened the door, the man called to the owner, “That’s a really smart dog you have there.”

“He’s not really all that smart,” the owner replied.

“This is the second time this week he forgot his key.”