Apr 08
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Our Passover Things

(To be sung to the tune of “My favorite things”, from The Sound of Music)
Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes
Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes
Fish that’s gefiltered,
horseradish that stings
These are a few of our Passover things.
Matzoh and karpas and chopped up haroset
Shankbones and kidish and Yiddish neuroses
Tante who kvetches and uncle who […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jokes - The Rabbi and the Shamos

A few days before Passover a rabbi was walking home when he noticed his shamos walking ahead of him. The rabbi hurried to catch up as he had some important matters to discuss. Much to his dismay, the rabbi saw that the shamos had entered a Chinese restaurant. The rabbi couldn’t believe his eyes. He […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jokes - The Ancient Story

As Moses and the Children of Israel were crossing through the parted Red Sea, Moses heard cries about how thirsty they were after walking so far. Unfortunately, the water was salty and not drinkable. Miraculously, a fish appeared from the wall of water and told Moses that she and her family heard the pleas of […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Dr. Suess Style

Sam! Will you never see?
They are not KOSHER, So let me be!
I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them Sam-I-am.
But I’ll eat green eggs with a biscuit.
Or I will try them with some brisket.
I’ll eat green eggs in a box.
If you serve them with some lox.
And those green eggs are worth […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jeopardy

First the answers and then the Questions
A: A classroom, a Passover ceremony, and a latke
Q: What is a cheder, a seder, and a tater?
A: Sofer
Q: On what do Jews recline on Passover?

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Warning

Just in time for this year, a group of leading medical people has published data indicating that seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.
At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jokes - The Orthodox Rabbi

An orthodox Rabbi dies and goes to heaven. As he’s approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and begins to get excited. The lead angel approaches the Rabbi and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment. Shocked, the Rabbi does so. The angels march out of […]

Author: admin
Apr 08
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Passover Jokes - The Moses

Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn’t even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He was about ready to give up.
Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above:
“You, Moses, heed me ! I have […]

Author: admin
Apr 06
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The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver

The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very
loud voice, “Free bus to the hotel Astor!” On the way to the station on his first trip her kept repeating to himself, “Free bus
to the hotel Astor, […]

Author: admin
Apr 06
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At Work Jokes - Why I Fired My Secretary

Why I Fired My Secretary
I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought,
“I’m another year older,” but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and
shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big
kiss and say, “Happy birthday, dear.” All smiles, […]

Author: admin