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At Work Jokes - God Meets Bureaucracy

admin — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 10:18:50 +0000

In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced
with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was
stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at
the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first
place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.

Then God said, “Let there be light.” Officials immediately demanded to
know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about
thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball
of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming
that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain a
building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half the
time. God agreed and said he would call the light “Day” and the darkness
“Night.” Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.

God said, “Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as manyseed.”
The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, “Let waters
bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over
the earth.” Officials pointed out this would require approval from the
Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and
the Audubongelic Society.

Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in six
days. Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review the
application and the environmental impact statement. After that there would
be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before…

At this point God created Hell.

At Work Jokes - Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning

admin — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 10:14:27 +0000

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened
to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to is doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he
went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat, the alarm in the orning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to
work. “Boss”, he said, “The pill actually worked!”

“That’s all fine” said the boss, “But where were you yesterday?”

The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver

admin — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 10:13:04 +0000

The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very
loud voice, “Free bus to the hotel Astor!” On the way to the station on his first trip her kept repeating to himself, “Free bus
to the hotel Astor, Free bus to the hotel Astor,” until he memorized it letter perfect.

Upon his arrival at the station, however, he became confused at all the noise and hub bub and started shouting as follows.
“Free hotel at the bust your Astor, I mean, Free ass at the Hotel Bastard, I mean, Freeze your ass at the Hotel Buster, I
mean Squeeze your bust at the Hotel Faster, I mean, Bust your ass at the Hotel Freezer, Oh shit…take a cab.”

At Work Jokes - Not so fast!

admin — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 08:22:03 +0000

Like a lot of young women these days, one of our secretaries had
worked long and hard to put her boyfriend through college. After he
graduated and passed his bar exam, I asked her if they planned to be
married soon.

She looked at me with a big smile and said, “Oh no! Not right away. I
want him to practice for at least six months first.”

At Work Jokes - Returning from her vacation…

admin — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 22:22:31 +0000

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone
who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two
weeks leave in which to get married.

“But you just had two weeks off,” said the boss. “Why didn’t you get
married then ?”

“What and ruin my vacation ?” she whined.

At Work Jokes - Proffessional Acquantance

admin — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 22:19:24 +0000

A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during
intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body.
She smiled and gushed, “Well, hello there Doc.” and kept right on going.

After a moment’s pause, the good doctor looked at his wife and said, “Don’t worry dear, that’s just a young lady I know
professionally.”

Without missing a beat, his wife asked, “Hers or Yours ?”