123Favorites.com - Jokes

Wife comes home to find the old man humping the dog in the front room.
“My God Henry”, she screams, “I know you’ve had other woman but this time you’ve gone too far!”
“You may be right” he says, “I think I’m stuck.”

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door.
The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Shephard. The man, […]

A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice herringbone tweed trousers.
The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a doggie biscuit which he starts to offer to Fido.
A businessman, […]

Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, “I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.” And with […]

A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. “Jesus is watching you!” “who’s there?” The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and he heard it two more times when he spotted a parrot. “What’s your name,” the robber asked.
“Cocodora” said the parrot. “Now, what kind of idiot […]

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the […]

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me…
They must be gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and […]

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
“Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?” the service guy asks. “Boy,” is the man’s response. “Oh yeah, I can do it. I’ll be right there,” says the […]

A golf pro was helping this attractive young woman with her swing when his zipper got caught in the rhinestones on the back of her skirt.
Needless to say this was embarrassing to both of them since their relationship had been purely platonic.
They decided to walk together in this lock-step back to the clubhouse where certainly […]

A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he’s lonesome so he goes to a pet store
thinking a pet might help. The store he happened to walk into specialized in parrots.
As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet.
Surprised he mutters “I […]