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Naughty Jokes - Man and his Camel

admin — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 13:24:03 +0000

There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel.
He tried to position himself to his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have it again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.
Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three busty beautiful blondes sitting in it.
He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help.
The hottest girl said ,”If you fix our car we will do anything you want.”
The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.
When he finished are three girls asked, “How could we ever repay you Mr.”
After thinking for a short while he replied,”Could you hold my camel?”

Light Bulb

admin — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:42:46 +0000

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!

Speeding Ticket

admin — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:40:02 +0000

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says “Excuse m’am, could I please see your driving license and registration.”

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

Cutting Pizza

admin — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:39:10 +0000

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”

Passed Away

admin — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:38:30 +0000

Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away.”

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, “Why don’t you go home for the day…we aren’t terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax.”

Sally very calmly states, “No I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here.”

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. “If you need anything just let me know” says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes over an asks, “What’s the matter now? Are you going to be ok?”

Sally breaks down in tears. “I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!”

More Blonde Q&A

admin — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:36:06 +0000

Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

Magic Mirror

admin — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:35:21 +0000

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world’ and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world’ and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think…’ and it sucked her in.

A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar…

admin — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 18:20:11 +0000

A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in.

“Get a load of her” said the mouse, “what a babe!” “Well, why not try your luck?” replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her.

Within five minutes they’re out the door and into the night. The next day, the lion was drinking in the
bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out, and can hardly hold himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink down his throat and said, “What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?”

The mouse replied, “Yeah, she was really something, we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I’ve never had a night like it!” “But how come you look like you’re so
exhausted?” asked the lion.

“Well” said the mouse, “between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!”

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Listen,” he says…

admin — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:44:26 +0000

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Listen,” he says to the bartender. “If i show you the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen, is my beer on the house?”

“We’ll See,” says the bartender. So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the bar,
and the hamster begins to play. “Impressive,” says the bartender, “but i’ll need to see more.” “Hold on,” says the man. He then pulls out a bullfrog, and it sings “Old Man River.” A patron jups up from this table and shouts “Thats’s Absolutely incredible! I’ll give you $100 right now for the frog.” “Sold,” says the guy.

The patron takes the bullfrog and leaves. “It’s none of my business,” says the bartender,
“but you just gave away a fortune.” “Not really,” says the guy. “The
hamster is also a ventriloquist.”

Did you hear about Rudolf, the brown-nosed reindeer?

admin — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:38:03 +0000

Did you hear about Rudolf , the brown-nosed reindeer?

He could run as fast as Rudolf, he just couldn’t stop as fast.